Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” video vixen Bobbie Brown and her sleazy, sexed-up Dirty Rocker Boys

By on September 17, 2016

A few days ago, Nathan Rabin of A.V. Club offered up some of his thoughts on Bobbie Brown and her “wonderfully dishy, shit-talking tell-all about her wild years as a preeminent siren of the Sunset Strip,” 2014’s Dirty Rocker Boys: Love and Lust on the Sunset Strip, which provided us with a pretty good reason to revisit the torrid tome ourselves and quote liberally from Rabin’s article (“In Dirty Rocker Boys, video vixen Bobbie Brown dishes the dirt”).

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Ms. Bobbie Brown will be familiar to some of you as the foxy blonde chick who frolicked her way into lots of red-blooded hair-metal boy wet dreams whilst prancing around in the music video for Warrant’s “Cherry Pie,” a song that, as Rabin points out in his article, arrived pretty late to the “hair-metal party” when it was released as the first single from Warrant’s album of the same name on September 8, 1990.

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Rabin — as part of his Silly Little Show-Biz Book Club, an “ongoing exploration of books involving show business, with a special emphasis on the very bad and the very sleazy” — claims the tune became “seminal iconography of the hair-metal movement” precisely because it was so egregiously “dumb, sexist, smug and snickering.”

He also writes that the “Cherry Pie” video — in which Brown is seen wearing a minuscule red halter top (showing off ample cleavage), cut-off jean shorts and red cowgirl boots (as well as various other red-themed outfits of one type or another) — “perfectly symbolized a musical genre built on a wobbly foundation of hairspray, spandex, dumb humor, androgyny, sex, and swagger that a lot of folks couldn’t wait to see end,” although we suspect that for some that genre hasn’t ended so much as transmogrified into other areas of onanistic expression.

The music video no doubt helped to propel the song to #10 in the Billboard‘ Hot 100 charts, receiving heavy airplay on MTV and other television networks who played videos (it was also banned, by the Canadian cable network MuchMusic, who refused to air the video on the grounds it was “offensively sexist.”)

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MTV would, of course, have a change of heart over years and despite being at least partially-responsible for the song’s popularity in the first place, they would list the song’s video as one of the worst music videos of all time in their day-long special, “MTV’s Triumphs and Tragedies.”

Somewhat ironically, despite appearing in several hair band videos besides Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” — including Hurricane’s video for “I’m Onto You” and videos for Great White’s “Once Bitten, Twice Shy” and “House of Broken Love” — Brown revealed in her book that she’s not much of a rock music fan and actually prefers dance, pop and R&B.

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You can almost picture Rabin smiling lasciviously ear to ear while he describes the deliciously juicy details of Brown’s tell-all tome — which was co-written with Caroline Ryder and published by Gallery Books, a division of Simon & Schuster — asserting that the book is

“… unapologetic in its sleaziness, delightfully irreverent, sexed-up, superficial, and a whole lot of fun. It’s what hair metal ideally should have been — a preeminent guilty pleasure and a source of naughty, raunchy fun — but so infrequently was.”

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Here’s more from Rabin’s A.V. Club piece:

Dirty Rocker Boys is also, casually, an exploration of how power and fame corrupts men and reduces so many of their relationships to mere transactions. Style-wise, hair metal trafficked in androgyny to the point where it could be difficult to tell the male rockers from the groupies. But in terms of gender roles, things were Neanderthal-primitive.”

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“Men made money and fucked groupies; women spent money and were professionally thin, sexy, and desirable. More than once, one of Brown’s partners not so discreetly informs her that she’s gaining weight, and in the seemingly lawless world of rock ’n’ roll decadence, the iron-clad rule is ‘don’t get fat.’ As long as she was young and thin and lusted after, the rules didn’t really apply to Brown, and they especially did not apply to Brown’s even richer, more famous, and more powerful partners.”

As Rabin points out in his recently-published reverie about Brown’s nearly two-year-old book — which begins in the mid-90s with the one-time hair-metal vixen in the throes of a “profound personal and professional meltdown” — many of the semi-sordid stories the authoress tells concern the famous and infamous celebrities with who she slept with or became entangled, whether through marriage or other entanglements, including Jani Lane, the troubled lead singer of Warrant, who she married and eventually divorced (Rabin reminds us that it was Lane who drunkenly introduced Bobbie Brown to anal sex while she was eight months pregnant with their daughter).

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Another of the major loves of Ms. Brown’s life, apparently, 2as another tatted dirty rocker boy, Tommy Lee of Mötley Crüe, who Rabin describes as an “alternately charismatic and creepy man-child” who figures prominently in the book, and he provides for us just a hint of what Brown reveals about Lee in this excerpt:

“Early in their courtship, Lee tells Brown that he’s going to go home and masturbate while thinking of her, then calls her up and loudly announces that he’s just achieved the magic of orgasm. If a regular person were to behave this way, the person on the other end of the line would likely be creeped out to the point of contemplating charges of sexual harassment against the onanist loudly discussing, and then demonstrating, his masturbatory endeavors. But rock stars are not like regular people, so Brown finds Lee’s boyish enthusiasm and complete lack of boundaries and self-control playful and sexy.”

In addition to both Lee and Lane, Rabin’s salaciously engrossing book review also mentions that Ms. Brown dishes the dirt on a number of her other lovers or boyfriends, if you prefer, including a couple of famous actors, including Kevin Costner and Leonardo DiCaprio (who she assures us has such an “enormous penis” that he puts Tommy Lee to shame, but who also insisted he wear a condom while she gave him head, which turned her off).

She also dishes the dirt on a few more MTV rockers, including Matthew (son of Rick) Nelson, whose more sexually aggressive twin brother Gunnar apparently tried repeatedly to get her to have a threesome with them both (and then may have got his brother to break up with her), professional lip-syncher Rob Pilatus of Milli Vanilli (who Brown tells us that he liked her to focus her attention on his ass during sexplay) and dirty rocker Dave Navarro of both Red Hot Chili Peppers and Jane’s Addiction (who was even more into masturbation that Tommy Lee, even giving Ms. Brown a videotape of himself jerking off in possible slo-motion).

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Bobbie Jean Brown’s story feels familiar even if you’ve never heard it before. She was born in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and grew into such a stunning natural beauty by the time she was in her teens that it was pretty clear to her and everyone else that she would eventually end up as a model working out of Los Angeles, CA, which is exactly what happened (she turned 18 after moving from the gulf coast to the west coast).

In addition to competing in national and regional beauty pageants — she was named “Miss Louisiana Teen USA 1987″ — and in the spokesmodel category on TV’s “Star Search” too (which she won a record thirteen times), her life in her late teens and early twenties was exactly as you’d imagine it to be, partying and clubbing on the Sunset Strip and having dirty rocker boys chasing after her, which is apparently where the “Love and Lust on the Sunset Strip” from the book’s title comes into play.

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Jani Lane — Warrant’s lead singer — and Tommy Lee both ended up pursuing her, with Lane besting the drummer by sleeping with her first and then marrying Bobbie four months after they first got together (they got hitched up on July 15, 1991) and fathering their daughter, Taylar Jayne Lane.

Unfortunately, his non-stop drinking and extra-marital cheating drove her into Tommy’s arms, only Tommy Lee’s arms were pretty filled up with his girl Pamela Anderson at the time, and the two women ended up competing for his attention and a place in his bed.

When they were “on,” Tommy and Bobbie were a hot rock ‘n’ roll couple having sex three times a day (she writes that the rumors about Lee’s prick size are true, saying “Dear God, it’s like a baby’s arm!,” which now makes us think Leo’s dong is absolutely freakin’ ginormous). When Lee and Brown finally broke up, he would marry Pamela Anderson four days later.

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We recommend you check out the book if you’ve read this far and would like to read more, but let’s sum this all up by telling you that in In addition to her work as a video vixen, Bobbie Brown has also hosted TV shows (VH1’s documentary series “Do It For The Band: Women of the Sunset Strip”, and a syndicated fashion series, “Preview: The Best of the New”), as well as appearing in films, where she’s usually been casted as “Video Babe” or “Erotic Dancer” or, simply, “Dancer.”

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About Bryan Thomas

Bryan Thomas has been a freelancing writer/critic for All Music Guide, assistant editor for the When You Awake blog, and a contributor to Launch, Music Connection, Big Takeover and numerous other publications and entertainment websites, blogs and zines, most of them long gone. He's written more than sixty sets of liner notes. He’s also worked for over twenty years at mostly reissue record labels -- prior to that he worked in bookstores and record stores, going all the way back to the original vinyl daze. He lives in the Miracle Mile neighborhood of Los Angeles, CA.