“Oh, what’s the use? Save your money now!”: “Jeopardy” and other Dating Do’s & Don’ts

By on May 29, 2018

Night Flight’s “Dating Do’s & Don’ts” — one of the best examples of our prescient, pre-internet video mashups — was directed by Night Flight’s very own Stuart Samuels, who also directed Rockin’ Ronnie and Atomic TV.

Watch them all on Night Flight Plus.


The episode, with text from Special Segment Writer Gideon Brower — features snippets from ’80s music videos (most of which have very little to do with “dating”) by Y&T (“Don’t Stop Runnin'”), Quiet Riot (“Party All Night”), Apollonia 6 (“Sex Shooter”), Frankie Goes to Hollywood (“Relax”), Fred Schneider (“Monster in My Pants”), Barnes & Barnes (“Love Taps”), Duran Duran (“Girls on Film”), Berlin (“Sex”), Will Powers (“Kissing with Confidence”), Miquel Brown (“So Many Men, So Little Time”), Meat Loaf (“Paradise By the Dashboard Light”), Billy Idol (“White Wedding”), and Doug & the Slugs (“Makin’ It Work”).

We’re also going to tell you more about one of our favorites, Greg Kihn’s “Jeopardy,” down below.

There are also some lighthearted nostalgic-tinged bits and pieces, like this vintage TV commercial for the board game “Mystery Date”:

You’ll also see snippets from lots of weirdo ’50s-era B-movies, like Ed Wood’s 1953 transvestite shocker, Glen and Glenda, and brief extracts from ’50s and 60s-era instructional videos and “mental hygiene” shorts (which doesn’t make us miss our junior high health classes one bit).

Dr. Ruth Westheimer also takes a break from her jogging to talk about the suitable wetness of pre-sex vaginas (from her Terrific Sex home video), plus we’ve got excerpts from Jay Miracle‘s Footsie, and footage of dancers from Chippendales NY.


We were actually kind of amazed at how many clips that we mashed up came from real military training films with actual titles like How to Succeed with Brunettes.

CBS’s “60 Minutes” even presented the U.S. Navy — who made this short instructional film for $64,000 in 1967 — with a fake Oscar because they considered it one of the most “unnecessary” and “fiscally wasteful” uses of film on record:

We suspect that some of you might remember “I Lost on Jeopardy,” the parody video made by Kihn’s friend, Weird Al Yankovic, but may have forgotten about the original video, which was already a parody of sorts.

Greg Kihn plays a nervous bridegroom who appears to be having second thoughts about the lifelong commitment he’s about to make, especially when he unveils his bride only to find she’s become a zombie-fied skeleton and all their wedding guests are zombies too.

Maybe the lyrics to “Jeopardy” — “Don’t be cute, don’t be funny now, it’s later than you think/Oh, what’s the use? Save your money now!…” — were our way of warning all you daters out there that you should get out while the gettin’s good, before it’s too late, or you could end up lookin’ like this babe:


Read more about Greg Kihn’s “Jeopardy” video below.


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It was Matthew King Kaufman, the boss man at Greg Kihn’s record label, Berzerkley Records, who had the idea to have Greg Kihn’s music videos all have a continuous narrative theme, but the horror-wedding concept for the “Jeopardy” video was from its award-winning director, Joe Dea.

We loved the scenes where Kihn looks back from the altar to see how his parents are handcuffed together, and his aunt and uncle are literally “joined at the hip” with some kind of connective tumor-like tissue between them.


The “Jeopardy” video was shot over three weekdays in the Mission Dolores Park area (often abbreviated to Dolores Park), located just a few blocks south of Mission Dolores on the western edge of the Mission District in San Francisco.

We weren’t kidding when we said “low budget”: the video’s cheapo makeup and special effects included using Campbell’s split pea soup, a gigantic tentacled rubber monster and a rubber snake and other stuff you might see in Grade Z horror flicks.

One of our favorite parts of the video was breaking apart the church pew and then using the piece of wood to play air guitar, holding it like a machine gun.


It was Dea’s idea to switch the film stock towards the end to Super 8mm, which makes everything feel like it could have been home video footage from Kihn’s actual wedding (it wasn’t).

Weird Al Yankovich’s parody video “I Lost on Jeopardy” — which took place in a TV studio complete with cameos by actual “Jeopardy” host Art Fleming and announcer Don Pardo — elevated Kihn’s pop culture status tremendously.

Kihn even makes a cameo appearance in that video, driving a green Alfa Romeo Spider (which wasn’t the beat-up green MG he drove in his own video).


The Greg Kihn Band’s “Jeopardy” (we misspelled the song title in the credits at the end of this episode, by the way, it’s one of those words you gotta double-check) was his first and only Top Ten Billboard Hot 100 hit, making it all the way to #2 in March of ’83, around the same time that Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” was getting tons of airplay.

“Jeopardy” also ended up at #1 on the Hot Dance Club Play charts, surprising the hell out of Kihn, who never imagined he’d ever have a dance hit during his power pop career.

An earlier Kihn band hit, “The Breakup Song (They Don’t Write ‘Em),” had gone Top Twenty in 1981.


In the credits at the end (sorry ’bout the outrageous misspellings, we were drunk), we give “Special Thanks” to Sigmund Freud, the Marx Brothers, and Jerry Lewis, among others.

Watch Night Flight’s “Dating Do’s & Don’ts” on Night Flight Plus.


About Bryan Thomas

Bryan Thomas has been a freelancing writer/critic for All Music Guide, and a contributor to Launch, Music Connection, Big Takeover and numerous other publications and entertainment websites, blogs and zines, most of them long gone. He's written more than sixty sets of liner notes. He’s also worked for over twenty years at mostly reissue record labels -- prior to that he worked in bookstores and record stores, going all the way back to the original vinyl daze. He lives in the Miracle Mile neighborhood of Los Angeles, CA.