“All Tied Up” is a silly sex farce featuring light bondage, female domination and Teri Hatcher!

By on May 7, 2019

All Tied Up stars Zach Galligan, the dude from Gremlins, as a record company weasel who is taught a lesson which involves light bondage and female domination by three naughty hot chicks (including national treasure Teri Hatcher!): an aspiring actress who mostly appears in sci-fi sequel trash, a semi-gothed-out real estate babe and an interior decorator whose work is really “hot right now” according to “all the magazines.”

Watch this slightly NSFW silly sex farce — released in ’93, but straight to home video in ’94 — in our Comedy section on Night Flight Plus.

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“Brian Hartley” (Gremlin‘s Zach Galligan) is a known cheater and lecherous playboy, but finally having finally found true love, he promises his beautiful fiancée “Linda Alissio” (the lovely Teri Hatcher) that his wild bachelor days are truly behind him, which means he’s burning his little black book full of names and digits.

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After a brief misunderstanding, Linda subsequently believes that Brian’s not only a cheater but also a liar and so she dumps his sorry ass.

When Brian shows up at her Malibu Barbie dreamhouse, expecting to beg for and receive her forgiveness, he’s taken hostage by her naughty roommates, “Kim Roach” (Lara Harris) and “Sharon Stevens” (Melanie Griffith’s sister Tracy Griffith), who tie him to a bed to teach him a valuable lesson (guess that would actually make the roommates “knotty” as well as naughty, wouldn’t it?).

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For the next three days, as All Movie Guide‘s Karl Williams writes in his review of the film, “the trio of vengeful women inflict Brian with a series of psychological tortures, including using his credit cards, shaving him with a rusty razor, getting him fired from his job, and forcing him to watch a home shopping cable channel” (the horror!).

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After his wild weekend, Brian’s finally set free, but the movie doesn’t end there because he’s got a few surprises up his sleeve.

The All Movie Guide’s review points out that this quirky early ’90s direct-to-video dark rom-com is “a variation on the themes of 9 to 5 (1980) and Spanish filmmaker Pedro Almodóvar’s Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! (1990).”

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By the time All Tied Up arrived on VHS, Hatcher — who’d started off as a dancer in San Francisco — was becoming well-known to network TV fans as “Lois Lane” in “Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.”

She’d already stolen our hearts as the foxy big-haired “Gretchen” in Christopher Guest’s The Big Picture (1989), which was her film debut, and that same year she memorably appeared as Sylvester Stallone‘s love interest in Tango and Cash (co-starring Kurt Russell).

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Most of Ms. Hatcher’s acting experience thus far had been on TV, though, including lots of TV commercials and mostly minor character parts on episodes of shows like “MacGyver,” “Quantum Leap,” “Tales from the Crypt,” “Murphy Brown,” “Night Court” “L.A. Law,” …and who can forget her unforgettable role as “Sidra” in “Seinfeld” (her body was so smoking hot, it made Jerry question just how natural some parts of it were …let’s all just say it, she was simply spectacular!).

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Singer and music label exec Rachel Sweet (“J.J.”), Melora Walters (“Bliss”), Olivia Brown (“Tara”), and Patrick Bergin (“Bartender”) are also featured in the cast of this quirky little “romantic” comedy, written by producer Isabel Mulá (here using the name “I. Markie Lane” for some reason) and Robert Madero.

TV Guide‘s accurate review of the film succinctly describes the film as having “an attractive young cast who look as though they’ve fallen out of a fashion catalogue, in a script equally glossy and mailed in from someplace just west of reality.”

Read more about All Tied Up below.

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All Tied Up was directed by John Mark Robinson — who goes by “Mark” — who has a long and varied background in the film/TV and music businesses.

Back in the ’80s, Robinson (who goes by the first name “Mark”) produced & directed music videos for Bob Dylan (“Sweetheart Like You”), Bob Marley (“Redemption Song”), the Pretenders (several, including “Brass in Pocket”), Tina Turner (“What’s Love Got To Do With It?”), the Ramones (“Rock ‘n’ Roll High School“), Dwight Twilley (“Girls“), Santana, Pat Benatar, George Thorogood (“Bad to the Bone”), Bob Seger, Eddie Money and many more, for his own Modern Productions company.

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Robinson — a graduate of the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York — has also directed two other features, including the buddy movie Roadhouse 66 (1983), starring Willem Dafoe and Judge Reinhold, and the revenge/crime thriller Kid (1990), starring C. Thomas Howell and Brian Austin Green.

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Robinson has also directed lots and lots of TV shows and before making the transition to directing.

Going back to the ’70s and ’80s, he was an actor who made regular appearances on episodic network TV show like “The Mod Squad,” “Love Boat,” “Electra Woman & Dyna Girl,” “Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman,” “The San Pedro Beach Brothers,” and many others.

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John Mark Robinson (in the green wig) in the Sid & Marty Krofft show “Electra Woman & Dyna Girl” (1976), in the episode “Glitter Rock: Part 1″

More recently Robinson is the founder of Tap Media Worx, a company in Vancouver and Los Angeles that allows those viewing a video to gain more information about its content.

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Robinson also owns Vancouver Prop & Costume in Vancouver, British Columbia, and is a partner in Boffi Los Angeles, a kitchen & bath design company, based in Milan, Italy.

Watch All Tied Up on Night Flight Plus.

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About Bryan Thomas

Bryan Thomas has been a freelancing writer/critic for All Music Guide, and a contributor to Launch, Music Connection, Big Takeover and numerous other publications and entertainment websites, blogs and zines, most of them long gone. He's written more than sixty sets of liner notes. He’s also worked for over twenty years at mostly reissue record labels -- prior to that he worked in bookstores and record stores, going all the way back to the original vinyl daze. He lives in the Miracle Mile neighborhood of Los Angeles, CA.